Brethren, do you hear the call?
Do you feel the inescapable power drawing you forth?
Resistance is futile!
The call must be answered.
As surely as wildebeests know that it is time to gather in enormous herds and move to other feeding grounds each year, as surely as blackbirds flock together in their thousands in preparation for their annual migration, so too must men respond to this inescapable, instinctive, annual urging.
They wake up a day or two before Christmas and know that they must go and go now! They jump into their cars and pickup trucks and drive to the mall, a place they never set foot in at any other time of year. They go inside and gather in herds outside the doors of stores like Bath & Body Works or Macey's. They don't know why, but there is an instinctive understanding among them that their wife might like something found in these mysterious places of business.
They stand in large groups outside the doors of these establishments milling around in quiet desperation. Knowing they must enter the store but having no idea what to do when they get inside. Like penguins standing apprehensively on the antarctic ice shelf staring down at the ocean full of hungry sharks and leopard seals, they know they must all dive in...but no one wants to go in first!
And why does this happen? Because men are, almost without exception, married to a really wonderful woman. A woman that has typically spent weeks or months preparing for the holidays making sure that she has something special for each member of the family, not to mention the dentist and the paper boy!
And yet, almost without fail, men wake up on the 23rd or 24th of December each year and realize they haven't yet managed to buy that wonderful woman a blessed thing! It's too late for Amazon. It's too late to make something wonderful out in the shop. So off to the mall they go, armed with their cell phones, begging their daughters, sisters or neighbor ladies for information on what colors their sweetheart likes, what perfume she wears or what size she is. It's a stressful time because we really do love our wives, it's just that we're...well...men.
Well brothers, I have good news! What your wife would really like is to join The HomeGrown Herbalist School of Botanical Medicine so that she can do even more wonderful things for the people she loves.
The school is currently on sale and she can have a study buddy join her for free! That's right...a discounted price AND a two for one deal!
Maybe one of the kids, maybe her sister...you don't have to decide now. If you REALLY want to impress her, tell her you'd like to be the study buddy. That will get you more brownie points than an entire month of picking up your socks or washing the dishes.
That's right brothers, for the price of a mid-range hunting rifle or scope (how many of those have you bought?) you could give your wife lifetime access to a really amazing program that may save you hundreds of dollars on doctor visits and be lots of fun.
Click below to learn more.
Believe me, it's lots less traumatic than driving to town today!
(And...Yup, we have payment plans.)
PS: Ladies, if your husband seems to be suffering with this annual dilemma, feel free to pass this message along. He'll be grateful. :0)